the unexpected..

assalamualaikum..

it has been a while i havent blog! sooo many to update but will get it done one by one. i just want to preserve my memory here that last monday i got a little surprise by husband. teehee 🙂

i did say to him soo many times that i want to buy a new laptop. ive been using my Uni laptop for almost 6 years! been changing the battery twice and last year my student accidentally dropped my laptop and cracked the LCD! i cryyyy. not only that, that cute aspire has been laaaaaaagggiiiinnggg for as long as i remember. cannot read bloggers' blog, cant watch youtube, streaming, etc and i cant even play some movies ie media player, vlc, bsp player, you name it. so yeah. thats my laptop. so sad isnt it? hence, the blabbing about getting a new laptop! and ive been eyeing to this brand new macbook because 1. its Apple 2. i always wanted a macbook and no. 3. its PINK!!! or rose gold.. whatever hahaha..

so do i deserve a new laptop? yes. yes i do! hehehehehe although its not a macbook, its okay.  I LOVE IT. its gold and pretty and slim and light and its golddd (did i mentioned it alreday?) hahaha. so yes.. welcome to my world, dear gold 💓

I love you both

It has been 3 years or so since i haven't write in this blog. Alhamdulillah i have been married for almost 2 years now, with the man that i respect and i love. Ever since that we had been trying to have baby. A year passed by and again alhamdulillah Allah had answered my prayers. I was pregnant at some time in October 2014 ☺️ We were so happy with this joyous moments of our life. I was very happy and excited for i had been dreaming to have child of my own.

otw to 1st appointment at Clinic Bunut =)

 I ate so much and yet i never knew why.. some women gained during pregnancy but me, i lost 15kgs! hehe 

see.. i really do want twins. googled and found this do'a and selalu amalkan.. alhamdulillah Allah answered my prayers =)

But those moments were only temporary, my loves. For Allah loves you both more than I do. Yes, i was pregnant with twins. I was beyond happy. No words can described how much happy i was. I only knew im carrying twins when I started to bleed on Friday the 5th of December 2015 at 8 pm. Your walid and ummi were back from grocery shopping. Little did I know, I started to feel stomach ache. A stomach cramp to be exact. Like the one Ummi had when i'm having a period. My heart raced fast. I do not want to think what i was supposed to be thinking. So I called your walid and told that i was bleeding. He stopped for a moment. I know what he was thinking too. The look on his face really ached my heart. So we rushed to RIPAS and I was transferred to ward 14. When the Doctor was ultrasounding me from below, she asked "sorry btanya ah.. Family kita ada waris kambar kah?" And I said yes, my brothers are twins. "I think you might be having twins" Ya Allah alhamdulillah my heart was dancing with joy and happiness! Double happiness!! The Dr said I was having a Threatened Miscarriage. Which means my babies could survive or the other. I was so in pain. The bleeding wouldn't just stop. I had to change pads cause the blood flew heavily.

On Dec 6th 2015 at 9 am, I lost my babies. 😢 I was devastated and in pain. Crying every night remembering how could I lost my babies. Luckily Allah was there. I know there must be a reason a good reason for it happened to me. I have faith in His doings. I did some research and I found my answers. I was so much in relieve knowing that those two angels were taken to their Creator and waiting for me at the heaven's door.

 my last day spending time with you two.. Walid was a bit annoyed tho psl Ummi kn bselfie saja =D

went to Belluno coz the twins was craving for waffle! 

tadaaaaa!! yummy in my tummyy

 singgah mothercare.. liat2 barang and harga baby cot huhuhu

then i lost you two.. ='(

i know that your walid is holding his sadness infront of me.. i love you sayang..

 must be strong..sometimes a smile can put away those sadness =))

burying you two was the hardest thing we did my loves.. rest well.. 

Alhamdulillah. Allahu Akbar. Syukran Ya Allah for doing this to me and my husband. Thank you for those memorable 2.5 months of happiness you gave us both. I could not thank You enough for You had answered our prayers.

And for that, Ummi loves you both so much my angels. Just wait for me in heaven..

. . . .

i miss him so.. ='(

Bedak-bedak siang..

Alhamdulillah selasai sudah satu majlis.. it was very tiring~ can't imagine cana kah usulnya tym majlis nikah lagi.. huhu.. so much to do! lusir sana lusir sini.. bepaluh sana sini.. make-up pun luntur.. hahaha.. mudahan saja semuanya okay.. Oh! here's the picture of pijah bedak-bedak siang.. can't wait till my turn~~ hehehe

One big happy family!

iLove~

Happy 14th Monthsary to us! Loving you more and always be.. Thanks for everything, thanks for being patient and thanks for understanding me selalu.. Last but not least syg, i thank you for loving me for who i am.. As you always said to me, "Me sayang you just the way you are syg" =))

I Love You!

Kitaro..

Had lunch again with ex-classmates Abyadh.. this time we did it japanese style.. makan sushi.. C-Koi couldn't make it so it's only kme berlima.. Shura planned kan surprisekn c Koi and Amal but c koi nadaaa.. Rezeki c Amal tah saja tu hehe..

the birthday girls, koi 2/3

Amal 10/3

Busy Women.. hehe

this is what we did before mid semester break.. the tension were all there.. seteresss.. but alhamdulillah we managed to siapkan the proposal right on time =) menunggu kana call saja lagi

my references.. pheewww

..

Every cloud has a silver lining..

busted.. =|

that's all i could say for now.. hope everything will be okay..

kingdom of hearts

i have made up my mind.. i will sambung master. I wanna take chances and experience new things.. i wanna travel.. i wanna do something that i never did before.. So what i have to do now? I'm gonna go to Jameshon and buat proposal cepat2!

Had a conversation with a good friend of mine last few days ago.. and i think i still have feelings for him =( i know.. this is so wrong =( but hes just too sweet and good and.. He got all! Knowing that hes good with kids melts my heart even moooooorreee hahahhaha.. Hmmm why are you so adorable? Well i guess he will always be my crush like forever and always.. and that's it. Doesn't mean i have feelings for him, i forgot about the boyfriend. no no no. The boyfriend stays in the heart and so does him =)

Went out with syg last night and i did have fun.. just for a bit.. he got other plans aher atu so yeah skajap saja jalan.. nda apa lah.. Janji ya bawa jln, jadi tah.. I love you..

Oh yeah we surprised ka ct tadi drmhnya.. hehehe tekajut bnr2 ya.. Happy Birthday Ka ct!! i love you and your girls always~~ =) kelurusan drmhnya atu, tarus tah mefotokopi segala sijil2an yg patut utk borang MA JPI ane.. hishhh banyak ehhhh..

And i don't feel good about someone.. hmmm

paper, paper, paper..

I've been busy lately doing some errands on my tesis and scholarship and ielts and studies. There were just lots of things to do that in the end i ended up sleeping and watching series. Seriously speaking, i slept A LOT!! I didnt go to school last monday because i was so sleepy to wake up. Well that's because i slept late the night before.. i was at my auntie's mengubah hantaran tunang. Mengaleh jua ihhhh malasku membuka bridal boutique! hahaha but it was fun tho.. thanks to ka nurul pasal banyak idea hehe =)

Went to JPI last wednesday mengambil borang master with yuni and fairuz. The people inda berapa friendly.. perghh "lain kali betanya~" au dehh baru jua ahad lapas kuarnya tu borang ah.. buleh kita ah? Ive been applying to some universities d UK and UKM, Aussie and Unissa jua.. I was a bit lost jua lah psl nada guide cemana kan apply, apa dul kan dbuat apa.. thanks to some friends yg sudi bgi guidelines hehe.. thanks Rai! =D Despite that, im a bit sad jua psl this fren of mine lately mcm 'lain' ckit perangainya.. why oh why must you be cematu? karit kan mbgitau itu ini.. sabar saja nanti ada jua hikmahnya tu.. i hope you get what you wanted.

A part of me mau sambung master but at the same time, hati ane berat ckit kan belarai. How fool someone can be if it comes to love, kan? dont you think? I am a fool, a very fool person when it comes to love. Tapi demi masa depan, i shud pursue my dreams and goals.. Kalau ada jodoh, inda kan ke mana.. tapi kalau nada, redha saja.. I really wish you are the one syg, tapi kalau bukan.. . . . . . wallahu a'lam.. let takdir yg menentukan..

So! my plan for tomorrow is to go to library UBD, begambar for passport, catching up with my fren c Wani (lunch) then will off to the airport mengantar lecturer ku yg blek Mesir for good.. Hope dpt bgmbar sama ustaz Fathi esok hehehe.. mukanya mcm George Clooney! banar.. esuk mengupload ahahah ;p bah i think thats all for now.. its 4 am already.. i shud get some rest, and mudahan esk awal bgn huhu..

until then! toodles..

it's raining love!

it's sunday and i'm at home.. nada kan dbuat ah.. so i ended up menyuci piring and cleaning up the house.. weird. Was about kan cuci kerita td tapinya ujan tya.. The car needs servicing and showering like seriously hahaha. Krg mlm th gayanya tu.

Last night was plain boreng! I spent my saturday nite drmh saja.. Two nights in a row ane wahh.. The boyfriend was busy with family.. Arghh boreng. Next week i must go out with or without him. Nyehehe. Dmlm i got an email frm a dear friend. Baruth techeck wh email ah.. Hai shur, i hope everything is all good.. Lama inda dgr news and updates frm u.. Miss u! =D

Tomorrow is the 2nd week of last semester.. Yes, i'm counting my days now nyahaha inda sabar kan abis degree! After class esk kan singgah ke CFBT kn ambil borang exam ielts. Then the day after kn ke JPI and MOE btnya psl scholarships. I'm thinking kan sambung my master either di UK, Aussie, Kl or Unissa. So much to do eyhh. But for now, focus th dulu menyiapkan thesis hehe.

Happy sunday everyone!

Happy 1st Anniversary!

it's been a while since i've been writing in this blog.. didn't have the time and didn't even care to write one.. malas. i'm back to school now. my result was okay alhamdulillah and my attachment's result pun was unexpected! hehehe syukur~

now that we are in the year of 2011, and my resolution is??? i can't even think of any! hmm maybe to be a better person perhaps? less tdur and err less shopping? yea right, like that's gonna happen.. haha.. 2010 had been a wonderful year to me.. happiness and sadness and sasakness.. semua lah. above all, i had been happy and i felt blessed with my loving family around.. not to forget my dear.. you are everything to me.. hehe

so yesterday was my 1st anniversary. though we didn't go out to celebrate it, i was very happy that you managed to come and see me at home. i love it when you surprised me. how very thoughtful of you! tapi mun ada bunch of flowers lagi tya the bomb tu.. hahaha.. so we spent time watching 'superman returns' (yess, he insisted) and he slept over. kan dbanguni, kesian.. hehe i love you syg, more than anything.. im so greatful that you've been very patient and caring to me, though sometimes i made you hated me and selalu marah-marah. i love you <3

happy anniversary to me and happy new year everyone!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Can't wait to watch it!!! mudahan tah inda main time examination week huhu =))

a littlest thing..

hey all..

i miss writing about stuff and school and everything. school was okay, still banyak assignments on due, tests coming and presentation. i hate presentation. i went to see my "musyrif" discussing about my thesis. hehehe i haven't giive anything nor my proposal to her. thank god she's not mad becoz she's very very pregnant! ijap sudah kan kana bom when she texted me to meet her up ASAP! keke.. sorry ustazah for being a bit pemalas =)

anyway, she said something that really opened my eyes about this thesis thing. "ustazah bknnya kn memaksa kamu mbuat tesis ane tym kamu cuti nanti bulan ustazah, tapi oleh kerana keadaan ustazah cemani (very pregnant), baik masa ada pensyarah lain mau kan memeriksa tesis kamu? ustazah mau yg the best frm kamu.. thats why ustazah push kamu to struggle buat tesis kamu awal2 so that sdh semester 2 nanti kamu free n nda busy. kan tesis atu akan menjadi kenangan kamu semasa kamu mbuat BA, ndakn kamu cuai2kan kan? so kamu pikirlah.. bh bila kn ngantar proposal ne?" nyahahaha. she was right. this thesis is gonna be a memory to me.

anyway talking about memory.. ive got a lots in mind.. seems like i cant forget about that thing like forever? i missed you. now me n my guy is on a fight.. oh well.. malas kn mikirkn.. stress!!!!


nyte all..

bunga

y o u . .

someone is reading through my blog at the moment.. hehehe.. happy reading dear you! ;p


p/s: i read yours sudah =)

bunga

Maher Zain..

my sister and I went to meet maher zain last saturday.. we arrived at Plaza Athirah a bit early at 5.30.. he was worth the wait though hehe =)



badannya berisi.. sukaaaaa ;p





i didn't bring any paper with me so.. yeaahh..




Maher Zain sudah.. mau Nancy Ajram lagi!!!

bunga

Your Music Is My Music

sounds of your music, i love..

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Wedding Fairy Tale..

awww how i wish i could afford this kind of wedding ceremony! hehehe

bunga

Happy 24th Birthday to me!!!

the birthday cake from The Last Pub




im 24 now.. makin tua makin banyak masalah hahaha.. oh well.. i'm gonna enjoy my youth while i can.. nyehehe ;p nothing special on my birthday, biasa2 saja.. c boyfriend apparently 'lupa' my day and thats bcoz we had a huge fight a week before =( but now alhamdulillah okay sudah =))




Baby sepet with the birthday gift hehehe




thank you syg for that night and the gift too.. kiuuut~ i love you =)

bunga

exam fever or damam rindu??

I have less than a week to revise all the 5 subjects which is mesti d hafal~~. Less than a week! *sigh* Next wednesday ada oral Al-Quran and saya alum mengulang huhu. And also 1 assignment left. Ngaleh ku kau ane eyhh.. cbuk2 tah jua minta antar tym2 revision week! pfffttthhhh

I am sick. Damam. Tonsil. Selismaaaaaa uwaaa... and at the same time, i miss you sayang =( please come home soon yeah?


Bh, get well to me.. mudahan surut damam ane.. i dont like you at all. titik
Good night peeps..

bunga